Most days are a battle. A battle that is an amaranthine and
fruitless struggle to overcome an enemy that’s as ever-present as a shadow and
as unforgiving as a scorn lover. Myself. Like most good writers, and yes I fancy
myself quite masterful with the written word, my worst enemy is myself. There’s
always this ineradicable self-doubt and apprehensive feeling that clouds the anterior
of my mind. It’s the brief moments where optimism shines through like sunrays
on a cloudy day that I outwit myself and create. Like now.
Fiction writers are by nature a pretentious bunch of
bastards that think far too much about words, worlds, things, and people that
don’t exist. It’s a tortured life spent creating, changing, re-creating, then
changing again, then again… then again. Most are so fearful of rejection and ridicule
that they’re forced to hide their work like an overprotective mother bear. Not me.
It’s one of the several “writer’s tropes/stereotypes” I’ve managed to escape. I
figure, the ultimate goal of creating is to SHARE. I freely and openly like to SHARE my work. Be it
half-done, completed, or a single idea. I’m always looking to SHARE! Not to be
praised, like so many others mistake or confuse, but to SHARE. To have other
people experience and absorb my creations. Whether that work is love, loathed
or something in-between is not for me to decide. The individual
experience is just that; an INDIVIDUAL experience. I’m just the provider.
I’m starting to appreciate the grievance that is writing.
The loneliness, the doubt, the excitement, the judgment, the whole kit, bang,
and caboodle that is being a writer. I’ve said it before, but this is not a
path for everyone. I wouldn’t suggest anyone do “this” for a “living”. SERIOUSLY!
DON’T TRY THIS SHIT AT HOME! This is the greatest, and I mean GREATEST, risk
versus reward career I could possibly fathom. There are more days than a few
(and I even feel like this on GOOD days.) that I seriously question my decision.
There are ZERO guarantees. There is a TON of established talent, upcoming
talent, and future talent to compete with. There are people FAR LESS TALENTED
than me that WILL succeed. People FAR MORE TALENTED than me that WILL succeed.
Talented as I maybe, there’s a very good chance that all of
“this” will be a waste of time. I have to live with that doubt DAILY. But you
know what, I gladly do. My life’s journey is one in which something so friable
and fatuous as “writing” is totally worth it. That is partly what this blog
will serve as. As a way to give you an inside look of the thoughts on a
writer. Some days I’ll talk about the outside factors (good and bad), how
relationships affect my writing, or what it’s like to write comedy, or how I
interact with other writers, or interviews with other writers, or what it’s
like when someone likes my work, or when someone doesn’t. Some will be funny.
Some will be sad. Some happy and others just plain weird. Who knows? Either way
it should be semi-interesting. Or least I think so.
Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson raises the Vince Lombardi trophy.
This may not be the last time you see this.
Well some months ago, before the NFL ushered in a new
season. Before the first ball was passed, ran, caught or fumbled. Before a single
play was executed or touchdown was scored I picked the Denver Broncos to lose
to the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XLVIII. I was right.
Funny thing is, I picked them, the Seahawks, last season. There was just
something about their rookie QB, Russell Wilson that I loved. I loved his story. I loved his
fight and will to overcome things. Dude had gone from NC State to Wisconsin to
Seattle, mastered EACH system and became the starter in EACH place. Nevermind that he was a 3rd round draft pick, or that he was suppose to
be too short, or that Seattle had just paid Matt Flynn. Wilson still managed to win over coach Pete Carroll enough that he got the job over assumed starter Matt Flynn. The best man
plays in Seattle and the best man played when Wilson took over. I predicted that while Andrew Luck
may be better and RG3 may get more press, that Wilson had the better collection of overall talent surrounding him and that he would get a ring first. I was right.
I was only wrong last season when I picked the Broncos because
I didn’t factor in Black Jesus Ray Lewis retired and I didn't realize how much that was going to
motivate the Baltimore Ravens. I was only wrong about the Seahawks last season because they
lacked the one thing they need most… Experience. But after a victory over RG3 and
Washington in round one and after a near win/close loss to the Falcons in round two, Seattle had all the
experience they would need for this season. I figured they’d come back next year just as hungry
and with the added experience, I figured only injuries could stop them. I picked
Denver again because I saw how weak the AFC was and I figured cream would rise to
the top. I was right.
Seattle reigns supreme over the NFL and it’s early, but I
can’t see why I wouldn’t pick them to do it again next season. Sure it’s hard to do, you know win
back-to-back titles and no team since the Patriots in '03 - '04 have pulled it off, but the
Seahawks have something on their side those Pats didn’t; youth. Seattle is the 2nd
youngest team to ever win the title. Of the 4 youngest squads to do it, (1981
49ers, 1974 Steelers, 1985 Bears and 2014 Seahawks) only the 1985 Bears didn’t
win multiple titles and some say the 1986 team was actually a better team than the legendary '85 Bears.
Pete Carroll joined elite company as he became just one of three coaches
to win both a national title and a Super Bowl title.
Seattle still has the benefit of getting elite QB play without
having to pay for it. That will change as Russell Wilson is going to command a $100 million plus contract when this "cheapo" deal is up. Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas and a few
other key players have yet to be paid what they’re worth as well. Soon they all
will get paid and things in Seattle will before more difficult, but for now it doesn’t matter.
Congratulations to Seattle and thanks for making me look so right and for giving me this
video to play for my brother until the end of time. (Skip to 29:13) He who laughs last ALWAYS
laughs the loudest.
When I first started this blog, I didn't quite know what I wanted to get from it. I knew I wanted it to be an outlet for me to get my opinions and thoughts out. A place where I could riff about sports, political issues and at rare times of personal waywardness, a place to vent. Kind of like now. This is probably the most random, but introspective thing I've written in a long time. Since I no longer have Facebook, Twitter or any other form of social media, that means I have no way to promote this so God knows who's actually going to read it.
I think sometimes in life I don't take time to take stock in what I have. Like most people, I tend to focus a bit too greatly on the things I no longer possess than appreciate the many things I still have or have been given. It's hard to do that in life sometimes. To show thanks for the little things. The little moments and little gifts that God (or whatever you believe) chooses to give us. I'd say that's one of my biggest flaws as a man. An acute inability at times to recognize just how truly blessed I am.
After having spent just over a year in Los Angeles, California I've experienced a lot. As a struggling writer, I spend most of my days lost in fantasy world I'm creating on my MacBook. Crafting characters and worlds, trying to escape the depressions of my own life. Trying to write that next great story that'll make me a millionaire. But as anyone will tell you that's a creative person, it's hard to escape your reality if your said reality has the weight of two full sized F-150s. That's the price of being a writer. The soul crashing self-doubt and countless failures one must endure for so few moments of success. And that's what I ask myself at times... Is it all worth it?
In this year, I've been lucky enough to eat, (most days, there were a couple I didn't, but that was very few and far in between) sleep in an apartment and work in my field of choice. Far better circumstances than a lot of my peers from college, so I'm thankful. I didn't lose any family or close friends and save for getting stabbed (too long of a story to tell), I've had my health. Besides that, I got a chance to get close to my oldest brother Zeph. So often people see us interact never knowing we hadn't talked or seen each other in over ten years. Not from malice or ill will but from growing up in different homes. Funny how blood is a bond that ties us and helped us pick back up like we never skipped a beat. I can say he's one of the best friends I have and I'm thankful I have him in my life again.
On that same note of long lost siblings, after four years of no contact, I was able to spend a few months with my daughter Aaliyah and I actually got to see both my kids together at the same time. First time they had been together since 2008 in fact. What a joyous week of watching them play, fight, laugh and share moments together. Just get to be brother and sister again. It's honestly the highlight of my year. Weird to say, but I never thought that day would come.
The soul of a man is a deep and lonely place at times. We're taught to hold in our emotions. Not to cry, not to feel but to "suck it up" and be "tough". "Be a man", people say. I think it's why us men end up so broke up after heartbreak or lost. A lifetime of being taught to bottle our emotions causes us to fall apart when things go south. (End up listening to old Sam Cooke and Otis Redding songs, like I am at this very moment when writing this.) My father once told me a story of how his father never once told him, that he (Zeph Sr.) loved him (Zeph Jr, my father). "I understood and knew that he did love me, but he never said the words to me", my father said to me. As a point, my father always tells me he loves me after every phone call. No matter how long or brief the call, my father always tell me. It's one of the few things in life I can count on.
In the end, I've learn one sure thing about this thing we call "life". Sometimes, you can do all the right things. Love your fellow man, read the Bible, pray daily, help old ladies cross the street and STILL end up with a shitty existence. All the while, the biggest assholes or untalented hacks can end up rich beyond measure, drive the nicest cars, date the prettiest girls, live in the grandest homes and have the best luck. The sun shines on the just and unjust alike. That sometimes nothing you can do will change the fact that you are just meant to have the short end of the stick. But through it all you can't get bitter. You can't let things like jealously, anger or doubt consume you. You have to stay on your path, no matter how long or tough your path is. It's your path to walk and your "cross" to bear. I say all that say, life is not fair and no matter how unfair it is...It goes on. And with that said, next time back to sports. Thank you for reading... if you did.
Jordan’s Bulls. Shaq and Kobe’s Lakers. Russell’s Celtics.
Miken’s Lakers. That’s it. Two titles in a row is nothing to sneeze at by any means, but
three in a row is the stuff of legend. NBA immortality. That’s what’s at stake for LeBron James
and the Miami Heat going into the 2013-14 NBA season. James enters his 10th
season CLEARLY, whether you like it or admit it or not, entrenched as the
league’s best player. Never has his “King” moniker been so fitting as James is the reigning and consecutive NBA MVP, Finals MVP and NBA champion. (Something only Jordan and Russell did by the way.) I mean, you just gotta give it up at this point. The man is one of the best basketball players ever and he's at the apex of his powers. You're going to get to say you watched LeBron James play basketball and that's going to mean something one day. (Plus this commercial is cool as hell. It's getting harder and harder not to like this guy.)
In the offseason, Miami added former number one pick,
walker, zombie, Greg Oden and the always complicated, Michael Beasley. These
are low risk, HIGH reward moves that could help Miami cement themselves into NBA history, but here's the issue with that. The last team to make three
straight finals where the Los Angeles Lakers from ’08-’10. That team could
only win two of three and the Heat are in the same spot as my Lakers a few years ago. After three straight years of going to the edge of the playoffs, does Miami even get back to the Finals let alone win it?
Getting to the Finals four times in a row is damn near impossible. (The
last team that did it was the Boston Celtics from ’84-87. And they only won two
of four. And that was with the original "Big Three" Bird, McHale and Parrish.) The injury bug has merely “nipped” at the Heat's heels and nagging injuries to Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh didn’t derail their title hopes these past two season, but does that luck last? No matter who your team is, if you love the
NBA and the history of the game, you have to at least understand why this is the biggest question going into this season. CAN THE HEAT THREE-PEAT?
2: Can Rose rise with the Bulls?
The Chicago Bulls are the best threat to beat the Heat almost by
default. With the return of superstar guard and former MVP Derrick Rose, the Bulls looked primed to truly challenge Miami. To play devil's advocate, a few years ago, and at full strength, the
Bulls still fell to Miami in only five games, so what’s different now you say? Maturity.
You always have to wait your turn in the NBA. The Bulls were
41-41 in 2009-’10 before they took a huge leap to 62-20 in 2010-'11. Teams never get that good and
win right way. Rose got hurt during the playoffs the next year and last season the Bulls lost to Miami again in five games. But now the Bulls are more seasoned, they have a much better two-guard in Jimmy Butler,
Deng and Noah are improved and healthy to boot. There are a few challengers in the East but none as intriguing as the Chicago Bulls and Derrick Rose.
3. How will Dwight Howard play now that he’s “happy” again?
A few years ago I watched Dwight Howard’s Magic play Derrick
Rose’s Bulls live in Orlando and I took away two things from that game. There are a lot of hot women in Orlando and Rose and Howard were All-Stars for a
reason. You could ALWAYS tell them apart from the other players on the court. I didn’t have
bad seats but they weren’t great, but Howard and Rose popped off the court the
same way they popped off the screen at home. They were that much better than
everyone else. Rose looks like the same guy I saw in Orlando after a few preseason games but Howard doesn’t look like THAT guy anymore.
Howard played with a level of athleticism that no one else
in the league did. Not even LeBron James. He was a defensive anchor and could
jump instantly but not anymore. He has to bend to leap now when he just use to rise
up almost effortlessly. I give him credit for his time in LA if only because he came back months before he was suppose to, played on
a bum shoulder and STILL led the league in boards. Primadonna/wish-washy behavior
aside he’s still the best center in the league.
Playing in Houston with James Harden, Howard’s finally got a
young elite player that can flank him. Kobe Bryant wasn’t the kind of player
that would ever work playing with someone like Howard. Kobe doesn’t play games. He doesn’t joke.
It’s all business all the time and it’s ALWAYS HIS team. As great as Harden is,
he’s going to take second billing to Howard and without any issue in doing so. All
the excuses are gone for him this season. He’s where HE chose to be. He’s got a great
YOUNG team. He’s healthy. Let’s see what you got Howard.
4. Which West “window closing” team can come back?
ESPN ranked Oklahoma Thunder forward Kevin Durant
and teammate Russell Westbrook number 2 and 5 respectively. Houston’s James Harden was
ranked 4. Damn! According to this rankings, had OKC kept Harden, the Thunder would three of the top five
players on the planet. Westbrook is going to miss the first few weeks of the season and they lost
Harden’s replacement in Kevin Martin but the Thunder are still going to be good
because they have the second best baller in the world in KD but is that enough?
Kendrick Perkins is a complete waste on the court and forces them to play 4 on 5 when he's in the lineup. (I have a higher plus/minus for the Thunder and I don't even play for the team!) Plus we don't even know if Westbrook comes back the same. I really think OKC screwed themselves by taking Harden's failure in the Finals versus the Heat too much into account when it came to keeping him. OKC was banking on Serge Ibaka getting better so they payed him instead of Harden. They should have amnestied Perkins when they had the chance, took the cap hit by resigning Harden because it's looking more and more like their title hopes left when Harden did.
San Antonio Spurs got about as close as you can get to winning the
title without actually winning it. Now they’re a year older and the Rockets, Warriors
and Clippers are all on the rise in the West. Each year I keep expecting Tim Duncan
and the Spurs to fall off a cliff but it doesn’t happen. Greg Popvich keeps
finding ways to get the best out of this team. On the plus side, Tony Parker is going to be healthy and Kawhi Leonard looks like a budding All-Star so the Spurs aren't totally out of it. But does Duncan have enough left in the tank? Especially after laying it all on the line to win last season.
The last "window closing" team in the West is the Memphis Grizzlies. They seemed so close to winning the title when Zach Randolph looked other worldly and Marc Gasol stepped up but fast forward a few years later and all that has changed. They got rid of a great coach in Lionel Hollins, shipped off their 3rd best player in Rudy Gay and still didn't improve their horrid outside shooting. It was a struggle for Memphis to get to 90 points and in the NBA nowadays that's a huge problem. I say Memphis is a 50 win, lose in the second round type of team at best.
5. What the hell is going to happen to the Lakers?
I know, I know. There are a TON of other great questions
going into the season. Are the Boston, Brooklyn Nets too old to win it all? How will the Knicks look? Will the Pacers take the next step? Can Doc Rivers get the Clippers off the hump? Which team is going to suck bad
enough to get Andrew Wiggins? If not from a historical perspective, the Lakers are just fascinating from a pure intrigue standpoint. Let's face it, the Lakers are always a story when you're talking NBA basketball. (And this is my list, I’m Laker fan and I’m going to talk
about my team. So yeah, deal with it!)
They lost two of their best players from a season ago, only Steve Nash is under contract past this season and Kobe
Bryant is trying to come back from one of the most devastating injuries any athlete, regardless of age and sport, can
have. But the Lakers two biggest
issues continue to be off the court, in my opinion anyway. They STILL have the
wrong coach in D’Antonio and Jim Buss is about as fit to run this team as the
lady that was giving me my popcorn in Staples last week.
A year ago it just "seemed" like Mike Brown wasn’t the right
fit, so the Lakers smartly removed him from the position. Dwight
Howard, Pau Gasol and Kobe were in full swing, and Phil Jackson was itching to coach, but what does
Jimmy Boy do? Hire a coach that cares about defense the same way the French
care about fighting back in a war. A coach that NEVER adjusts to his players and
forces them to play his style NO MATTER WHAT. Until the Lakers fix this mistake
THEY’LL NEVER, and I'll say it again, NEVER, win an NBA title.
When Kobe comes back (Because we all know he's crazy enough to suck the blood from his daughters' necks if meant getting back on the court sooner.) there is NO WAY he lets the Lakers
suck. The team was horrible last year and he STILL dragged them, kicking and
screaming no less, into the playoffs. But why do that again this year? Why kill yourself for this team Kobe? Lakers fans I'm sorry to say this, but the boys got no shot and you know it. Why not bottom out and
get one of the lottery picks in the best draft since ’03? Am I the only one that
knows that being in NBA "no man’s land" is the worst thing ever. You’re not good
enough to win the title but with Kobe you’re just good enough to sneak into the playoffs as an
8th seed. And what does that get you? No lottery pick and a first
round ass beating. (Milwaukee Bucks fans are SCREAMING at their computers right now.) You want to be contending for a title or sucking your brains out. Those are the
only real places to be in the NBA and smart execs know that. Winning titles or rebuilding. Not treading water.
The Lakers are going to have the cap space to rebuild via free agency and I’m still not sure who the team attracts to Los Angeles.
Melo, LeBron, Wade and Bosh could all become free agents in the offseason, but I don’t see any of those guys coming specifically with a coach like D’Antonio at the helm. (Lakers fans get over it, Melo ALREADY got a dose of D'Antonio, so you think he wants to sign with LA to get coach by a guy he hated. That's like becoming roommates with your ex-wife.) I'm not sure if LA has the pieces to make a splashy trade
like they tried to do for Chris Paul (I’m STILL mad at David Stern!) and they did do for Dwight Howard. They're going to suck and if they do make the playoffs it's not going to be pretty, but when you’re the Lakers you're always going to have people talking. Love 'em or hate 'em, basketball is better when the Lakers are in the mix.
It’s time to rebuild in LA and here’s hoping they do it. But
what do you guys think? I know I missed a few, so leave me a comment below telling me what you think is the biggest question going into the season. Follow me on Twitter @ParisLay.
Thanks for reading and as always ENJOY THE VIEW!
It’s over. It’s over and it’s not even close. I just saw the
best film of the year. Director Steve McQueen’s 12 Years A Slave is easily, and I mean EASILY, the most powerful
film I’ve EVER seen. EVER. Point plank and period. Few words can truly and accurately
describe the emotions I felt sitting in that theater last night. Intense, soul crashing
anger and rage at White people. Dumfounding confusion at the idea of a "God". How could a people be so loyal and praise a God so much while He lets them suffer so greatly? Overwhelming sorrow and pain for the Blacks that endured slavery. Gut-wrenching shame in my people because even when there were times when Blacks outnumbered whites, WHILE holding axes and knives no less, they did nothing to free themselves.
Let’s get into the details. 12 Years A Slave is the true story of a Black man that was born free in the northern United States during the 1800s named Solomon Northup. After being lured to Washington D.C. under the promise of a job, Solomon is drugged, kidnapped and sold into slavery. Solomon workes as a slave on various
plantations in the south before being freed 12 years later. (Thus the name.)
Again, this is a TRUE story. All these events actually happened as the film is based on Solomon’s own memoir, for which the film shares it’s namesake.
I must first warn you by telling you that this film is very, very brutal and definitely uncomfortable to
watch at times. As a Black male, I can tell you there were more than a few
moments where I almost became physically ill. A few scenes even caused me to
have involuntary "verbal" protests. You think Passion of Christ was a hard watch?
There is a whipping scene that would make even David Duke (Leader of the Klu Klux Klan) turn away in horror and
shame.
Films like Django
Unchained are more satirical and cartoonish in their depiction of
slavery. The true barbarity and malevolent nature of White people was far more abhorrent and 12 Years A Slave is unapologetically
honest with its portrayal of the torture and debasing slaves endured. Scenes of
Black men and women standing naked while White men poke and prod them like
simple livestock aren’t violent, but the scene is just as unnerving and sickening to watch as bloodier ones. There's a scene where a woman pleads to be sold with her children but is still separated that is particularly difficult to watch. Especially when
you remember all these things ACTUALLY happened.
Actor Chiwetel Ejiofor gives the most remarkable performance
I’ve seen since Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln. Like Day-Lewis, there is never a time where you feel as if you’re watching Ejifor “play” a character.
He BECOMES Solomon Northup. Ejifor's performance is utterly mesmerizing as Solomon's fear and fight for survival is
never forgotten for a single moment when Ejifor is on the screen. You have to remember that Solomon was a freeman. He had never encountered the horrors of slavery or the cruelty of White people. Solomon's reactions are that of a Black person from 2013 placed into a time machine and sent
back to 1840. There are so many subtle, but impactful moments in Ejifor’s
performance that I could honestly write a whole review on just his acting
alone. Ejifor is the readon Michael B. Jordan won’t be winning Best Actor this year
for his lead role in this summer’s excellent Fruitvale Station.
Paul Giamatti and Michael Fassbender play two of the most unlikeable villains I've ever seen in a movie. Both make Leonard Dicaprio’s Calvin
Candie look like Mother Teresa. Although Giamatti isn’t in the film very long his screen time is still meaningful and effective. However, Fassbender is really the other standout of the
film besides Ejifor. He plays an evil plantation owner who uses and twists religious scripture
to justify his acts of inhumanity.I’m never going to be as comfortable
watching Fassbender ever again and I've had to remind myself that he was just "acting" several times since the film ended. Yes, his performance was that good.
Sarah Paulson does fine work as Fassbender’s equally cruel
wife and newcomer Lupita Nyong’o is very impressive as the eyes of “masters” desires
as she plays a slave girl named Patsey. Whenever Nyong'o's on the screen she dominates it. Brad Pitt, Paul Dano and Alfre Woodard all
turn in fine supporting performances also. Oscar nods will be given to most, as well as to most of the talent behind the camera. McQueen perfectly paces and explores a difficult subject matter with such ease you'd think he's lived through slavery himself. While cinematographer Sean Bobbit's captures the beauty of those grand ole southern plantations, while never shying from showing us, in explicit detail, the unspeakable evil that lurked their grounds.
There are so many moments and things I want to say about
this film but I can't. You’d be here all day and so would I. If you’re a White person and
you’ve ever wondered why Black men always seem to have a chip on their shoulder, THIS
is why. If you've wondered why educated Black men work hard but seem to have an
underlining sense of urgency in their actions while still holding a deep anger
inside? This is WHY. Why Black people always make EVERYTHING about their race?
This is why. This is why the world has so many "Angry Black Man". Even though there isn't a person living that was responsible
for the tragedy of slavery, and of course I didn't live this, that doesn't make me and many other African-Americans any less angry about it. If your skin
isn’t Black you DON’T UNDERSTAND it and that’s okay.
This film should be seen by everyone, but it absolutely MUST be seen by ALL African-Americans. Specifically African-Americans that weren't conscious adults in the 1960's and 1970's or earlier. Most African-Americans seem to forget what happened in this country so long ago. Most of us seem to think that we’ve always been free to go and learn and work and do as we please. This film acts as a huge reminder of what it use to mean to be Black in this country. And even if I weren’t a Black man I’d say this
is the best picture of the year. What Saving
Private Ryan is to a World War II vet or what Schindler's List is to a Jewish person, 12 Years A Slave is like that to
African-Americans. Like those films, 12 Years A Slave is a hauntingly authentic illustration of a historical event that CAN'T be truly felt without a personal connection to the characters or source material.
All who see it will be affected but ONLY a Black person can truly understand
the pain that's on the screen and that’s fine.
Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t seen the finale of Breaking
Bad leave now!
Let’s get started. If I had
to use one word to describe the finale to Vince Gilligan’s magnum opus it would be either “neat” or “fitting” or “satisfying”. Walt’s dead. Lydia’s dead. The Neo Nazis
and Todd are dead.Skyler’s off the
hook. Walt Jr’s going to get the money. Walt got to have "his" proper goodbye with
Skyler and the kids. Maria gets to bury Hank. And of course, Jesse lives. (Personally after seeing the trailer to Need for Speed, I
think that film is just a continuation of Jesse’s story. I mean did you see how
fast he was flying out of that compound plus he still had scars!)
Literally no “T” or “I” was left uncrossed or undotted. It
pretty much was the “best” possible outcome the show could have. I’ve said all along this was the
story of Walter White's rise, fall and redemption. Walt had to die. The show couldn't end any other way. You don’t get to do the things Walt has done and live. And he had to die a violent death too. Somehow, and this is strange to say, suffering through cancer would have been way too easy.
It was noble of Walt to save Jesse and actually sacrifice his own life in the process. He's had to save Jesse throughout the show, so it was only fitting that he did it one last time. Walt's always tried to help Jesse and do what he thought was best for him. When you think about it, Walt letting Jane choke to death was just his twisted way of looking after Jesse's best interest because she was totally destroying Jesse's life at the time. Even nobler was him blowing Uncle Jack’s head off as he tried
to use Walt’s money as a bargaining chip. At that point, money meant nothing to Walt. Finally!
The most cheer-inducing scene of the episode was Jesse choking the life
out of Todd. When the dust settled after
all the bullets stopped flying, I remember screaming at the television, “Choke him
Jesse! Use your chains and choke that bastard to f**king death!” How ironic was that. Jesse's chains of
bondage turned into a weapon of freedom.
I thought the much anticipated stand off between Walt and
Jesse was very lackluster. I really wanted them to say more to each other. It was a mostly muted
moment for two characters that have gone through so much together. Jesse refusing to give Walter the satisfaction of a quicker death was expected, as Walt was already dying anyway. Jesse isn't that cruel or vindictive like Walt. (In
fact new theory: The Neo-Nazi compound didn’t have too many roads in and out of there I’m guessing and the way Jesse sped out of there, I think he got caught. Think
about it. Someone reports a ton of gunfire. The police is racing to the scene
and some maniac in an El Camino zooms by them coming from the direction they’re
going. I’m going to say the police may want to send a car or two and stop that person. So I like to think Jesse's right back in chains.)
Another standout moment of the finale included Walt scaring
the living hell out of Elliot and Gretchen. If you noticed in Marie’s
phone call to Skyler, about Walt’s activities in his return to town, there was no
mention of his visit to the Schwartzes. Which means they got the message and the plan worked. Which is much more “sinister” to me. Even after they give the
money to Walt Jr, they’ll always be looking over their shoulders. A fate far worst than death if you ask me. Also, I really enjoyed the reveal of Badger and Skinny Pete as the would be “assassins”. It was nice to see those "clowns" one last time and they added a much needed dose of comic relief
before things really got started.
The best scene of the episode, for me anyway, was the scene
between Walt and Skyler. The last time they
talked was pretty nasty, so it was great to see Walter get to explain a few things and Skyler actually listen to him. It was the perfect moment for an estranged husband and
wife to have. Skyler even makes mention to Walt “looking like shit.” It’s totally what your ex would do if they saw you like that. The icing was Walt finally admitting to Skyler he
did everything because HE WANTED TO and because HE ENJOYED DOING IT. If you’re the best at anything, be it football or meth making/drug lording, you have power. You have power and you're good AND you get to wipe out your competition at the same time! You’re going to feel something and chances are you're going to like it. For a man as weak as Walter his transformation was so fitting. He was finally “alive". I'm happy he stopped using his family as an excuse for the mayhem he caused.
Walt's final time with Holly was so well done and Skyler’s subtle smile here was just perfect. For that moment, Skylar saw him not as a monster but just a father. A man who loved his kids. Someone who wanted to do the best by them, but went totally off-the-rails wrong doing it. The scene was him going from Heisenberg back to the real Walter one last time. Walt was weak and human for the first time in a long time. I truly felt sorry for him and that's something I haven't felt in a while. Last week, I didn't feel sorry for Walt at all, because I felt like he was getting what he deserved. But this was different. In this scene he was a broken man that just want to do what he could to at least try to salvage what was left of his family. The scene made me start to dread his impending death and really help remind us of the great person Walter White once was.
In the end, two things stopped this episode from being truly epic. First,
it was way too predictable. The chaos and edge-of-your seat uncertainty of Walter’s
world is what made Breaking Bad so great. The show had a great way of never going the
way we wanted or thought it would go. The finale had none of that. It was just too perfect at times. The
second thing that held it back was the flash-forwards with the ricin and machine gun. Sure, earlier in the season seeing those things was awesome but as we got closer and closer to the end, we could kind of guess what would
happen. Even though most of this episode was telegraph it was still cool to actuallysee it happen.
Breaking Bad's series finale was much like Usain Bolt's 100M race in the Summer Olympics in 2008. Those first 90 meters Bolt blazed ahead, crushed everyone and he still
set the world record. But he coasted, arms out in celebration those last 10
meters and had Bolt pushed himself he could have done something really special. That’s what
this episode was like to me. A gentle coast to the finish line to a race already well in hand.
It was great, but it wasn’t nearly as thrilling as “Ozymandias”, which I’m convinced is the
greatest hour of TV ever. Since everything was wrapped up so nicely, it’s kind of hard
to really complain. So many shows leave things unanswered or go on too long but not this show. Nothing is left to
the imagination with Breaking Bad and it was just the right length as well. No fat at all. No wasted frame or scene or episode or season. There are no "throwaway" moments to be found in this show.
I’ve already “waxed poetically” about the show’s greatness and
the finale doesn’t change how I felt then or now. This has been one hell of a ride and I’m
glad I watched it. Blood was spilled. Tears were shed. The meek man that rose
from the ashes of obscurity to become an unstoppable force of brutality fell to
the same whirlwind of violence he created for so many around him. For in this life, or the
next, we ALL must pay a price for our sins. And on September 29, 2013, Walter Harwell
White Sr finally settled his debt.
