Sunday, January 22, 2017

Local White Man Touts "Many Black Friends And Family Members" As Definitive Proof That He's Not A Racist

Local Man taking photo while NOT being racist.

fter posting yet another in what has become a disturbing amount of racially insensitive memes on his personal Facebook account, local White man James Hecker was finally called a racist by local Black man Paris Lay. Hoping to quickly dispel any rumors that he is a racist, James took to Facebook again and touted having "many Black friends and family members" thus making the very idea of him being a racist impossible.

While no African-Americans were able to come to his aid, an assortment of White friends of various ages and genders offered support to James' claim of not being a racist. Connor, (White) Sarah (White), Ron (White), William (White) and James O. (White) were among many, many Whites that vehemently disagreed with the charge of racism aimed at James. Sure they're White and would never be targets of James' racially insensitive posts, but that doesn't matter because they "know James." The many Whites noted that perhaps it was Paris who was actually being racist.

Furthering his case that he's "totally not a racist", James was able to produce ticket stubs from several African-American led feature films he's seen such as "Meet the Blacks", "Tyler Perry's Boo A Madea Halloween" and more recently "Hidden Figures." James also noted to never actually saying the n-word while singing along to rap songs. "I mean it's just silly. I'm not a racist," an incredulous James retorted.

When asked about his thoughts on voter ID laws that almost exclusively seem to only effect Black voters, James was quoted as saying, "What's the big deal with getting an ID? I got one." And when asked about African-Americans protesting social injustices be it in the form of marching or simply sitting during the national anthem James said, "Silent prayer and reflection would honestly be the best form of protesting because everything is fine if you ask me. Complaining only makes things uncomfortable for white people."

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