Breaking Bad Goes For The Gold! (A SPOILER-FREE RETROSPECTIVE LOOK AT ONE OF TELEVISION'S FINEST SHOWS)

Breaking Bad is going for broke in it's final season.

74. 85. 89. 96. 99. Those are AMC’s Breaking Bad's Metacritic scores for each season…in order! It's literally gotten better each year. It’s the only show ever to do that. (To be fair, Game of Thrones is currently on track through three seasons.) The show's fifth and final season's score of 99 is the highest in the history of TV for the website. No TV show EVER has done that. So far, it’s TV drama at its absolute apex. What we’re witnessing is the equivalent of watching a pitcher throw a perfect game in the 7th game of the World Series. 

An even more accurate baseball analogy of what Vince Gilligan (Breaking Bad’s creator) is trying to do, would be to say, he’s trying to hit a walk off homerun (The fifth season) WHILE throwing a perfect game (The Series). He’s attempting to send Breaking Bad off like no other show in the history of television. The Wire didn't do it. The Sopranos didn't do it. Mad Men isn't going to do it. The Wire had its missteps. Mad Men seemed like it was only going up, until Season 5 and Season 6 dipped a bit. In fact, it may have peaked in season four.

The Sopranos is still the best show ever... for now.

The Sopranos suffered from the syndrome of “more”. HBO wanted more and more from David Chase, (Creator of The Sopranos) so that show had entire seasons that were "missteps". TS went on a little too long and it had the worst ending ever for a show. (Half the damn country thought their cable went out so that’s a fail. Off that alone it ALMOST wasn’t the greatest show ever.) To be fair to TS, the death of actress Nancy Marchand in 2000 forced David Chase to reshape the show. Some of the best moments of TS were with James Gandolfini’s Tony and Marchand’s Livia. Chase originally planned to explore more of the relationship between those two characters. So we’ll never know what truly should/could have happened. Although, the end product was still very good.

Walt and Jesse haven't just being cooking blue meth.
They've cooked up television gold for five seasons.

What Gilligan really has working is the creative freedom AMC has given him. He’s getting to tell HIS STORY. On HIS TERMS! Think about it. No other showrunner's had this much control of their story. We went over TS's issues. The Wire got cancelled, so it’s kind of left untold or rushed. Mad Men seems to be "making it up" as they go along at times, but not Breaking Bad. Gilligan’s had every step planned out from day one. Every move. Every moment. Everything has been written, so to speak, before the cameras ever rolled. Walt’s fate has been sealed for years. And that’s why the show is so great. The show is as hot as ever and it’s better than ever but it’s ending. What show has EVER done that! The ratings and network executives usually dictate how much longer or shorter a show lasts. Sometimes ending a show prematurely or forcing viewers to "suffer" through an extra season or two as a cash grab. (Better Call Saul, the prequel spin-off to Breaking Bad is that cash grab. AMC can't totally let the show go right now.)

As Breaking Bad winds down, all I'll say about the plot is this. I’m not sure exactly what happens in the end, but Walt has to die. No one can be THIS evil and live right? Ultimately, Breaking Bad is the story of how a very dangerous, but complicated man lived and died. I think we're watching the twisted tale of Walter's meteoric rise and fall. Walt's metamorphosis from meek and cancer ridden chemistry teacher, that was looking to save an extra buck for his family, to psychotic and ruthless drug lord, that's hell-bent on having it all, at any cost, has been unlike anything I’ve ever seen. 

Walt makes you go through every emotion that you can have for a character. We’ve felt sorry for him. Sorry for his weakness and for the bad cards he had been dealt. We’ve feared for him. Feared that he'd get caught or worst. We've been happy for him. Happy when plans work out or when he's managed to stay a step ahead. We’ve hated him. Hated the things he's done and choices he's made. We’ve FEARED the man himself at times. Feared the lengths he'd go in order to get what he wants or to survive. I've physically felt my heart start to beat faster at times when watching this damn show! Nothing else on TV can take that claim.

There can only be one king in the history of television.

If there were a Mount Rushmore of Best TV shows, regardless of genre, it’d go, Seinfeld, The Sopranos, The Simpsons and The Wire. With The Sopranos being the best ever. It hurts to type this but, I gotta take The Wire off the mountain and replace it with Breaking Bad. Sucks but it has to be done. I mean, there's only four spots so what can you do. On its final season, I’ve come to realized that Breaking Bad is not only going for the Heavyweight Championship Belt of "Best Final Season" (Which the show already has by the way). Breaking Bad wants the "Best Show" belt too. Like Walt, the show itself wants it all.

Some Like It Hot! 1st Annual NFL Head Coach Hot-Seat Power Rankings

Bill Belichick and Rex Ryan; You could say they're two guys
on polar opposite sides of the Power Rankings.

Do you feel it? Do you see it? The chill in the air. The browning of the leaves. All annual signs that it’s the start of a new NFL season and with it the chance/hope your favorite team can continue their excellence or return to its former glory.

As much as I love seeing which teams will step forward and which ones will fall back, I get just as much joy in the NFL coaching carousel. Watching NFL coaches squirm and wither away from the ever-mounting pressure of losses, the fans and ownership is as entertaining as the games themselves at times. In honor of all this “morbid” fun, I’m starting a new annual tradition. Let’s take a look at all of the coaches in the NFL and the level of job security each enjoys (Some are "enjoying" job security like a hard kick to the nads.) in my 1st Annual NFL Coaching Hot-Seat Power Rankings.

Dead Man Walking (Norv Turner Award)

(Named After the Coach that survived the most seasons as a Dead Man Walking.)
Coaches here already have their pink slips under their office chairs, even if they don’t know it. These guys could literally be fired by the time I finish typing this. Only an improbable Super Bowl victory saves their jobs. 

Rex Ryan – New York Jets 

Oh Rex! How we’ve all enjoyed the "funny" press conferences, Sanchez tattoos and foot fetish videos but it’s all over. Rex Ryan is the example of a guy that reached a job that far exceeded his qualifications. He’s a defensive coordinator at heart so we shouldn't be so surprised he backed the wrong QB and his team has zero offensive firepower. Rex’s seat is so hot, he may not last a full season in New York.

Blazing Hot 

The Coaches here are probably done after this season. Miss the playoffs and it’s over. Make the playoffs and it still may be over. They at least last through the season, but they’d need 10 plus victories and at least one playoff win to get another year.

Jim Schwartz – Detroit Lions

Schwartz is your classic case of a head coach with a seemingly talented team but he isn't winning. He's got a franchise QB, superstar playmakers on offense and defense, so why can’t he win? Look, dude did takeover a 0-16 team, so some credit has to be given but the team is far too talented now to be going 4-12.

The Lions have been horribly undisciplined at times and that always points to a lack of leadership from the head coach. Detroit MUST make the playoffs for Schwartz to come back in 2014. You can’t keep wasting the prime years of guys like Calvin Johnson and Matt Stafford.

The Texas heat isn't the only thing Garrett is feeling.

Jason Garrett – Dallas Cowboys 

I don’t care what Jerry Jones says about Garrett’s job security, this guy is toast if Dallas flops again. Few teams go into each season with as much unwarranted hype as the Cowboys, (Much to they’re own doing most of the time.) so the guy that coaches Dallas will always be under pressure. With Garrett at the helm the Cowboys have gone 5-3, 8-8 and 8-8. Far below the number of wins a team with this type of talent should have.

Bill Callahan was brought in this off season to handle the play calling duties, which still doesn't make any sense to me. I thought that was supposed to be Garrett’s strongest quality as a NFL coach, his unique and aggressive play calling. It’s like having a great pastry chef at your restaurant but when the restaurant starts failing you decide to bring in another pastry chef and move the great one you already had over to the grill to cook steaks. Makes no sense. 

Ron Rivera – Carolina Panthers

Unlike the two coaches above him, Ron Rivera doesn’t quite have the same level of overall talent, but his biggest issue is he seem's to have a franchise QB in Cam Newton but he can’t get the best out of him. There are few things worst/annoying than owning a fast car (Newton) and always driving under the speed limit. (Winning fewer than 8 games.)

In Rivera’s defense, in both of his two seasons as the head coach, the Panthers played much better in the second half. Carolina needs to get off to a much faster start in 2013 and at least be above .500. They win at least 8 games and Newton looks improved, I say Rivera could be safe for another season. Anything less and it’s over.

Mike Munchak – Tennessee Titans

This team really doesn’t look to be going anywhere under Munchak. They don’t look good or average. They’re bad but they don’t look like a complete dumpster fire either. Jake Locker doesn’t seem to be the right guy at QB and Chris Johnson hasn’t been the same since he sat out for his new contract. Playoffs and 10 plus wins saves Munchak’s job. 6-10 and no playoffs again and he’s unemployed.

Hot & Heating Up

Coaches here are in some trouble. Expectations are high so they must win but if they loss too badly they could be out.

Kubiak needs to win big to stay safe beyond 2013.

Gary Kubiak – Houston Texans

I was really close to putting Gary Kubiak in the list of coaches above, but he’s had too much recent success to say he’s in that much trouble. Unlike the Cowboys, Lions and Panthers, the Texans are coming off a season where they had 12 wins, won the division, made the playoffs and won a playoff game. 

Kubiak has the team moving in the right direction the only question is the same question you have with the team’s QB Matt Schaub. Can he get you over the hump? Like Schaub, you can win games with Kubiak, but can he win you Super Bowls?

Mike Smith – Atlanta Falcons

Mike Smith faces the same questions and situation as Kubiak. You could honestly read the above thoughts, replace Kubiak with Smith and Texans with Falcons and it’d be pretty “spot-on” for what Smith is going through in Atlanta. Including the same questions with his QB. The Falcons however, have far more aerial offensive firepower and Matt Ryan is probably a more talented QB than Schaub. Besides that, the Falcons are to the NFC what the Texans are to the AFC.

Toasty 

The coaches here aren’t in any real trouble but all bets are off if they lose 10 plus. Coaches here are relatively safe if they win 7 or more games.

Marvin Lewis – Cincinnati Bengals 

Marvin Lewis has been the coach of the Bengals for over a decade now with "mixed" results. His best team in 2005 looked primed to win big in the playoffs until Carson Palmer got his knee blown out and that was that. Palmer hasn't been the same since and neither were the Bengals. The Bengals really seem to be on the right track since they got Andy Dalton and A.J. Green but Lewis better start winning playoff games soon. There always seems to be some heat on Lewis so he can coach under the pressure, but 10 years, no playoff victories and underachieving with a team that looks to have great balance on both sides of the ball is not a good look. But he’s a Black coach and I gotta support the guy. It’s a Black Law. Like defending OJ and hating George Zimmerman.

Shanahan is pretty safe in Washington thanks to RG3.

Mike Shanahan – Washington Redskins

I really hate this team's nickname, so when addressing them I’ll only type or say “Washington”. Shanahan finally has his best QB since John Elway and he almost immediately screwed it up. Washington wasn’t expected to do anything in 2012, so getting 10 wins, the NFC East crown and making the playoffs should be seen as a huge success. Shanahan put a lot of pressure on himself by his mismanagement of Robert Griffin III's knee injury in the playoffs.              

That pressure has only increased after Shanahan said the team has Super Bowl or bust expectations. If Washington makes the playoffs again in 2013 it should still be seen as a great season. Especially seeing where the team’s coming from the past 15 years, but not making the playoffs isn’t the end of the world either. Shanahan would have to lose at least 13 games, get RG3 injured or killed, drive down to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and slap President Obama to lose his job.

Leslie Frazier – Minnesota Vikings

I’m sure even Frazier himself didn’t see the Vikings having a playoff season in 2012. Namely because his best player Adrian Peterson was coming back from ACL surgery, his QB was “subpar” at best and his defense was aging fasted than milk left out on the counter on a hot day. But Minnesota won anyway.

Peterson had the greatest season ever for a running back, won the MVP, carried the team into the playoffs and probably saved Frazier’s job in the process. The Vikings could and should slip a bit in 2013 and Frazier would still return, but if they lose 10 plus, and look bad doing it, he’s gone. I was "this" close to putting Frazier in "Hot and Heating Up", but remember he's Black.

Neutral 

These coaches are just safe. They could lose 10 plus and still come back, but they definitely see more heat in the next season if they do that. Most of these coaches either just got the job or are in year two of the job. The ones that have a year of service start to move up or down after this season. But for this season, they could win or lose and they still return.

Carroll's all smiles in Seattle.

Pete Carroll – Seattle Seahawks

The Seahawks looked primed and ready to do big things in 2013. They have all the talent in the world on both sides of the ball and Carroll really looks to have the team focused on bigger goals than the division title. Russell Wilson just might be the greatest draft day steal in NFL history and could probably run for mayor of Seattle and win in a landslide.

Carroll isn’t in the next group of coaches because he’s missing that sustained or exceptional playoff success. Win or lose he’s safe to return in 2013. Win big and Carroll goes up a level in job safety. Lose big and he goes down a level. Carroll would have to have the Seahawks lose 13 plus and run plays with their helmets on backwards to get fired. 

John Fox – Denver Broncos

John Fox is one of the best coaches in the league that hasn’t won a Super Bowl. He took Tim “I Can’t Complete a Five Yard Out” Tebow and turned him into a playoff winning QB. He went to the Super Bowl with Jake Delhomme! (RE-READ THAT LAST SENTENCE!) So it comes as no surprise to me when he got Peyton Manning last season, he won 13 games including 11 in a row. 

Fox had one of the freakiest stats in NFL history at one point. Teams he coached had a record of 50+ and 0 when his offense scored at least 24 points. That all changed versus Black Jesus Black Tebow Ray Lewis and the Ravens last year. Fox and the Broncos have Super Bowl dreams again, and like Carroll, he could move up or down on this list depending on his team’s success in 2013.

Gus Bradley – Jacksonville Jaguars
Andy Reid – Kansas City Chiefs
Rob Chudzinski – Cleveland Browns
Joe Philbin - Miami Dolphins
Chip Kelly – Philadelphia Eagles
Marc Trestman – Chicago Bears
Jeff Fisher – St. Louis Rams
Greg Schiano - Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Mike McCoy - San Diego Chargers
Bruce Arians – Arizona Cardinals
Chuck Pagano – Indianapolis Colts
Doug Marrone – Buffalo Bills
Dennis Allen – Oakland Raiders

Unmovable

Nothing to say because the coaches here aren’t going anywhere. They’ve got Super Bowl appearances and/or Super Bowl wins. They'd have to lose 10 plus for a few years before they feel an ounce of heat. These guys basically quit/retire to lose their jobs.

The Harbaughs are going nowhere anytime soon.

Jim Harbaugh – San Francisco 49ers
John Harbaugh – Baltimore Ravens
Mike Tomlin – Pittsburg Steelers
Tom Couglin – New York Giants
Mike McCarthy – Green Bay Packers
Sean Payton – New Orleans Saints

God Mode (Saban Award) 

(Named After The Coach With Greatest Job Security in the history of football.)
This slot is saved for the one guy that could lose every year for a decade and still not move. When this guy retires, the team is going to try to talk him into staying longer. This guy is NEVER EVER feeling heat. He has statues outside of the stadium, fans name they’re babies after him and water towers in his hometown have his name painted across them. He doesn’t lose the job until he quits the job and if he wants to come back, you fire the guy that replaced him on the spot if it means he coaches your team again.

Bill Belichick – New England Patriots

Join the debate by leaving a comment below. Did you like my list or no? Did it get it right or wrong? Feel free to let me know. You can follow me on Twitter @ParisLay. Thanks for reading and as always Enjoy the View!

If It's Broken...Fix It! (Three Ways To Make Major League Baseball Better)

Falling all over the place. Ladies and Gents your 2013 Chicago Cubs!

Serious and sad confession coming. I’m a Cubs fan. Having lived in Chicago for a short time when I was a kid, I fell in love with the Cubbies back in 2000. To say I had no clue what I was getting myself into is an understatement. After doing some research on the team, I found out that the "Northsiders" didn’t have what you’d call a “winning tradition.” So I had a choice to make. Stay or go. (It was kinda like finding out your fiancee was a recovering super-slut right before your wedding.)  But I figured “What the hell?” Even though I'm from Flint, Michigan and could have rooted for the Tigers, I still picked the Cubs. The Tigers weren't any good at the time, the Cubs had one of baseball's most popular players in Slammin' Sammy Sosa (Feel free to insert your own PED joke here.), I lived in the city and since I had no team, it seemed like a good idea. (So was marrying a woman a day before I deployed to Iraq. Just saying, I haven't been known to make the smartest decisions at times. Boom! Two marriage jokes already!)

My love for the team was cultivated in the early 00s when the Cubs were pretty damn good. Peaking in 2003, when the Cubs had a pitching rotation of Prior, Wood, Zambrano and Clement. (They led the league in strikeouts and all won at least 13 games.) I spent that summer watching baseball almost everyday. Watching every pitch and every hit. My TV lived on WGN as I would listen to Cubs legend Ron Santo wax poetically as the team went 88-74. Which was good enough to win the woeful NL Central. (God rest the man’s soul but Ron Santo was a horrible color man. He was dreadfully uninformed about stats, mispronounced names and completely biased toward the hometown Cubbies. Ron Santo was about as fair and objective as the judge in a show trial.)

The Cubs looked liked they were well on their way to at least the NL Pennant but we all know how that turned out. Even still, all the pitchers mentioned above were under 26 years old, the Cubs brought in Derrek Lee and Greg Maddux via free agency and they looked like the would contend for years to come, but we all know how that turned out.

Fast-forward almost ten years to 2013, the Cubs are just as bad as ever if not a touch worse. They’re no closer to returning to their former “glory” although new general manager Theo Epstein looks like he has a plan. When your team’s out of the hunt it’s always hard to follow a sport but I’ve always been able to stay engage in baseball but not this year or the past few to be honest. I’ve only watched two games from start to finish this season.

Exciting as Mike Trout is I'd still rather catch the SportsCenter Highlights than watch a full Angels game.

Watching baseball has become almost like a chore lately and it’s not just because my team sucks. The Dodgers have been very entertaining to watch as well as my "hometown" Tigers and players like Mike Trout and Miguel Cabrera are "Must-See-TV", but that’s still not enough.

Being the solutions oriented young man that I am, I’m here to offer up a few ways to fix America’s pastime. The game itself on the field, as it’s played that is, is pretty close to perfection. I don’t have any "on the field" rule changes to offer up rather a three tweaks to improve the viewing experience live or on television.

1) Get This Show On The Road Already! AKA SPEED UP!

Baseball has always been terribly slow as it is, but lately the game’s been moving about as fast as a snail locked in Snoop Dogg’s dressing room. (For any white people that don’t understand the reference, it just means really, really slow.) The average speed of a MLB game is around 2 hours 55 minutes. Yankees vs. Red Sox games average around 3 hours 30 minutes. Postseason contests involving any combination of Major League teams average about the same. Ouch!

That’s too long to do anything much less watch a baseball game. (I’m sorry, but I’m only willing to do a few things for that amount of time. Most of which involve naked women and alcohol.) It's a pretty easy fix however. Cut down on all the pointless stepping out of the box from batters. They step in and out, and in and out. Adjust their gloves. Adjust their helmets. Step in the box. Take a few practice swings. Call for time and DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN! STOP IT! Take a few practice cuts, step in the box and try to hit the freaking ball!

Batters aren’t the only ones slowing the game up. Pitchers are even worse. The time in between pitches and the "in-between pitches routine" some pitchers have are down right painfully long. Some guys can take upward of a minute and thirty seconds. Try it right now. Wait a minute and thirty seconds.... 

Keep waiting....

And waiting....

See. Don't you just wanna shoot yourself!  Fast workers like Clayton Kershaw or Justin Verlander are way easier to watch than slow pokes like Dice-K or Barry Zito. Pitchers have more control on dictating the pace of game even more so than the umps. (More on how they're slowing down the game later because they're guilty too.) Speaking of them…

2) Stop Show-Steal Umpires

Is it just me or lately haven't the umpires become just as much a part of the action as the players? Umpires have gotten more and more “showy” and it’s hurting the game as much as the slow play.

This is happening why too much this season.

Umpires have been mouthing off at players, taking their masks off and walking toward the mount like their ready to fight or something. I saw the Tigers catcher have to physically hold back an ump the other day. Really? Come on! You can’t say anything to these guys. Umpires are apparently about as sensitive as a pregnant woman in her third trimester. (I got two kids and trust me when I tell you this. Never, ever, ever argue with a woman when she’s at that stage of her pregnancy. Just politely nod, say “Okay honey” and go fetch whatever crazy food she's craving that day.)

The reason the umps are so out of control is because they don't seem to be accountable for any of their actions. They can say and do pretty much whatever the hell they want. If the players can be punished, so should umpires. They're on the field and they're performing a job just like the players. If a player's performance can be questioned so should an umpire's. And don’t even try to get an ump to admit it when they blow a call. You’d have an easier time trying to convince a Tea-Party Member that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.

3) Replay, Replay and MORE Replay!

Baseball’s biggest underlying problem (Besides some of their biggest name players taking  Pac Man “power pills” that is.) is the lack of replay. This is 2013 damn it! There are HD cameras all over the field! Fans at home can see every little thing and so should the umpires. I’m not sure if the umps have gotten worst or the technology has just gotten that much better. Either way, replay is an absolute must at this point.

The umpires say they want to get the calls right and if that's true umpires should be screaming from the mountain tops for expanded instant replay. I know some of you just “love” the human element but I say screw that. I’d rather them get the call right. Hell, I'd have them put robots on the field if it meant they could do a better job of calling the game than humans.

 

Trust me guys! He was out by a mile! - MLB Umpire

Sure, watching your favorite manager run onto the field and raise a little hell over a blown call has a certain amount of entertainment value, but that goes back into what I was saying about slowing the game down. The manager or player can piss and moan all they want, but the call never gets changed. I guessing it feels good to give the guy an ear full, but I'm sure players and manager would rather have the visual evidence to support whatever they’re arguing about. Adding an umpire in the booth to look at close plays at homeplate as well as close plays on the base paths should do the trick. Don’t give me crap about “pace of game”. Because if you cut out all the arguing, the pitcher’s in-between routine and batter’s doing stuff like this, then there’s plenty of time.

I really like baseball. I really do. Those summers going to Wrigley Field were some of the best of my life, but even if my team was in it I’d still find baseball hard to watch. Baseball really needs to fix this. The younger generation is pulling further and further from the game, in favor of football and basketball. I’m afraid if they don’t fix it, they (MLB) really will be America’s PAST-TIME.

Thanks for reading! Join the discussion by leaving a comment below. Agree or disagree? Let me know. Follow me on Twitter @ParisLay, subscribe to the blog and as always ENJOY THE VIEW!