All That Glitters...

       On Sunday, February 24, the Academy Awards will be handed out.

A long time ago I realized that predicting who’s going to get nominated for the Oscars is like trying to predict where that little disc in Plinko is going to fall. You can put that sucker in the middle, on the left or the right side and it’s still going to do whatever it wants. I stop trying to predict who’d get nominated years ago. Every year there’s someone/some film that should’ve been nominated that gets left out and someone/some film that shouldn’t win, but it does.

I'll prove it. Let’s play the “do you remember game” shall we. Do you remember Ed Wood? Do you remember Martin Landau in Ed Wood? Even better, do you even remember who the hell Martin Landau is? (“No” would be a totally reasonable answer to all three of those questions by the way.) Do you remember Pulp Fiction? How about Samuel L. Jackson’s role in Pulp Fiction? Not only can you probably name Jackson's character, you can probably give me more than a few lines of dialog from him in that movie. I tell you that to tell you he didn’t win the Oscar that year. Jackson lost best supporting actor to Martin Landau. Neither did Denzel Washington for Malcolm X, but don’t worry, I’ll give you another chance. Do you remember Saving Private Ryan? It’s only the greatest WWII movie ever made and it arguably has the greatest opening sequence in movie history. (When WWII vets of D-Day saw it, the opening beach assault that is, it was said that some started to cry and have flashbacks. Now that's movie making.) Well that movie didn’t win best picture. Neither did Citizen Kane. Too far back you say? Okay, lets do something more "recent". Do you remember The Iron Lady? How about The Help? Do you remember Viola Davis in The Help? Well, Davis lost best actress to Meryl Streep for her lead role in The Iron Lady. And that was just last year!  Needless to say, the Oscars get it wrong sometimes. Really, really wrong. I just find it easier to do the biggest snubs and the biggest surprises of the nominations and then do the same thing to the winners weeks later.

Biggest Snubs

Affleck and Bigelow won't be hearing their names called.

There were a few snubs in the best picture category but I can give the Academy a pass because 2012 was a strong year for films. They have ten slots for this very reason and they STILL only used nine. Skyfall, The Dark Knight Rises, Moonrise Kingdom, and The Master come to mind right off the top of my head as films that could have garnered that tenth slot but I can still give them a pass. It’s not including Ben Affleck and Kathryn Bigelow in the best director block that got me. I get that Bigelow has won before and all that jazz, but you can’t tell me Affleck couldn’t beat out anyone not name Spielberg or Lee for a spot in the best director category this year.

Samuel L. Jackson and Leonardo DiCaprio getting left out of the best supporting actor category was a little shocking as well. Jackson I understand because he did so much "chest-beating" about how he was going to win, that I just knew he wasn’t even getting nominated. I guess DiCaprio’s turn as the sadistic slave owner Calvin Candie was a little too "raw" for the voters. Funny, because the Academy usually loves when a “good guy” plays the bad guy.

Biggest Surprise

Quvenzhané Wallis is cute but she shouldn't win an Oscar.

Beast of the Southern Wild getting nominated for anything, much less getting nominated for four out of the big five; best picture, best director, best screenplay and best actress. I saw this film and I got to say it because no one else will, it sucked. I watched it two times with the hope of liking it and still nothing. Sometimes, just because something is “weird” or “offbeat” or “hard to understand” doesn’t mean it’s good. Sometimes, it’s just “weird” “offbeat” and “hard to understand” because it sucks. Also, I thought the film being released so early in the year would hurt it because I didn’t think it had the staying power to remain fresh in the voters’ eyes. I was CLEARLY wrong on that one.

Greatest "one man carry the team" job since
LeBron led Cleveland to the '07 Finals.

If you ask me, it’s setting up to be a very big year for Lincoln. It has the most nominations with eleven, critics love it and it’s done very well at the box office. (Those eleven nominations can’t hurt its chances of making even more money either.) However, the most nominations doesn’t always guarantee Oscar success. Even if that movie is directed by Steven Spielberg. (See 1986’s The Color Purple.) With Affleck and Bigelow missing, best director seems to be a lock for Spielberg and without Zero Dark Thirty and Argo getting the nod at director, it seems like the best picture award is Lincoln’s to lose as well. (Not always the case as both Lee and Spielberg have walked away with best director wins with their films still losing out on the big prize. Saving Private Ryan to Shakespeare in Love. Brokeback Mountain to Crash.) Best actor is just a “show trial" this year because we all know Day-Lewis is walking away with that one. It’s this year’s “mortal lock/willing to bet my life this guy/girl wins it” category. The toughest category to call is the best supporting actor. It’s going to be really tough to pin down because it’s the first time in any category, that I can remember anyway, anyone could walk away with it and I wouldn’t be upset at all. I have no clue who wins but they all honestly deserve it.

Personally, I would not have wanted to be a voter this year. With so many great films, great filmmakers and great performances in 2012, a lot of them were undoubtedly going to get left out. I’m not going to go line-by-line and award-by-award because it’s pointless. We really don’t have a clue what’s going to happen and years later, some of the winners are going to look "funny" and others down right wrong. You know kind of like that time when everyone thought those “finger mustaches” were all the rage. (Funny.) Or in the 80s when everyone thought doing cocaine was "cool". (Down right wrong.) I say why try to stop a car that has the key broken off in the ignition and no brakes when it’s heading for a cliff. Do what I do; get a stick and a bag of marshmallows, let it crash and burn. Then just sit back, relax, enjoy the flames and have a roasted marshmallow.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to subscribe and share the blog. Join in the discussion by leaving a comment below. Follow me on twitter @ParisLay. Until next time... Enjoy the View!

Spoiler Alert 2012: The 1st Annual Year-End Movie Blowout Extravaganza PT. 2

If you missed PT. 1, check it out here.

Paris: True. That dude is amazing. What about the best supporting role you saw this year?

10) Silver Linings Playbook

Greg: Christopher Waltz was absolutely amazing in Django Unchained. But if I had to pick someone else, I'd say Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook. Which I'd actually replace Les Misérables with in my top ten. (This is the first time Greg changes his mind. Notice, I said "first time".) She plays a cop's widow who is a friend of a friend and she's also a bit crazy like Bradley Cooper's character. After seeing her in The Hunger Games and believing that she was Katniss Everdeen, I was surprised to also believe her as a crazy girl who just wants to participate in a dancing competition.

Paris:  Like I said, I haven't seen it but everyone is raving about her performance in that film. I kind of want to see it more now, but I thought she was a “crazy girl” in The Hunger Games too. I love my brothers and sisters, but no way I'm taking either of their places in a battle royal to the death. My love as a brother only goes so far and “Replacing you in a battle royal to the death” is on my “Things I'd do for mama and a child"list not the "things I'd do for my siblings" list.

Greg: You should see Battle Royal, it's a Japanese "hunger games" but it's a better story/movie.

Paris: Don't get me started on The Hunger Games. When we talk about most disappointing films I'm sure I'll have a thing or two to say. But back to supporting roles--

Greg: Leo DiCaprio should also be mentioned. His role in Django Unchained was so disgusting that I started to hate him so much after the movie I had to remind myself it was Leo DiCaprio to calm me down. (Yep it’s happening again and he's cutting me off to do it.Wait for it.)

Paris: There were a lot of really good supporting roles this year. John Goodman was great in Argo and Flight. I'd say he was the best “scene-stealer” of the year. Alan Arkin was money in Argo, but I’d go back to Django Unchained. Waltz, DiCaprio, and Samuel L. Jackson were all amazing but I'll go with DiCaprio. Why? Because he's NEVER BEEN THE BAD GUY and he played it so well! When guys like him do roles like that, they kill it. They get to have fun and let loose. The role is so far from what we normally see from them, that they seem even more amazing then they really are. Think Denzel in training day. By the way, as a Black man, I can lead any discussion about movies back to Denzel Washington. It's kind of a superpower. I’ll end my thoughts on Leo’s chances with this. There’s a scene where he, Leo, holds Kerry Washington (who was NOT GOOD AT ALL IN DJANGO. Not because she was bad, but because Tarantino didn't have anything for her to do but cry and cower.) by her head and he's threatening her with a hammer. You honestly don't know if he's going to kill her or not. You see, it's not the crazy things bad guys do, its when they DON’T do something crazy and you think THEY WERE is when you know someone is really "killing" a role as a bad guy. That scene, for me anyway, was the moment when I gave the award to Leo.

Greg: Oh yeah, that was a brilliant moment and that "shake his hand part" too. I got the creeps from that. Okay you've convinced me. DiCaprio for the win! (And there it is! He changes his mind ladies and gents. But wait, there's more!)

Paris: Okay, next up is the most disappointing film of the year.

Greg: Flight *cough* *cough*

Paris: That's cold. We already have your thoughts so I'll give you mine and it wasn't very hard but I did have a few choices this year. Prometheus. This is 40. The Hunger Games. Quick rant about The Hunger Games. One, the effects sucked. The fire was about as real as Donald Trump’s hair. In fact, I think it's what they used.

Greg: I'll believe that.

Paris: Two, I didn't get to see anyone “fight to the death”. I know it was PG13 and all that, but if the movie is about a tournament of kids "fighting to the death" and you don't SHOW them “fighting to the death” it'd be like making a movie about Lincoln's last days and NOT showing him getting assassinated. See, I knew I'd have somewhere to use that analogy.

Greg: I wasn't too disappointed about that. I actually enjoyed the movie, aside from who ever that cameraman was. I wanted to kill that man! Made me sick to my stomach! "Oh look, someone's moving on the other side of the room, follow me!" The story was entertaining enough that I thought it was better than Flight. I was more disappointed with Les Misérables, even though it was in my top ten before I removed it for Silver Linings Playbook.

Paris: Anyway, the most disappointing film to me was The Hobbit.

Greg: Not The Hobbit.

Paris: Yep, The Hobbit.  I saw it in 48FPS (Frames Per Second) and for those who don't know, most films are shot in 24FPS. It’s what makes a movie look like… well a “movie”. The Hobbit looked like a BBC TV show. A very, very, expensive BBC TV show.

Greg: What's wrong with a BBC show? I like Doctor Who.

Paris: Nothing, but I don't expect to see one in a movie theater. It takes you out of the film and the actors seem to be moving too fast at first glance because they are moving too fast. Even after getting past that, the movie was way too damn long.

Greg: It didn't feel that long to me.

Paris: I don't know anything about the "lore" of LOTR (Lord of the Rings) so I didn't know this was the first of three movies. I also had to see it twice because the projector overheated, the NUMBER ONE SIGN A MOVIE IS TOO LONG,  and I thought I missed out on the big dragon battle. So I went to see it again and all I missed was the dragon opening his eye! Literally all I missed!

Greg: All right, I'll give you that one.

Paris: The dinner scene in the beginning was about 35-45 minutes too long and one more thing, if Gandalf knew the “butterflies can go get giant eagles trick” the whole time why didn't they use it in the beginning?! If I was Bilbo, I would have kicked him in the balls for all the walking we did.  Plus the eagles dropped them off at the TOP OF A MOUNTAIN... LIKE 60 MILES FROM WHERE THEY NEEDED TO BE!

Greg: Well, while you were sulking at having shilled out more money to see The Hobbit again. I saw Les Misérables twice and paid for it FOUR TIMES and it wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be. I saw it Christmas night with my friends. I was sitting in the theater waiting for them when they told me to go to the other theater across town because they were going to miss that showing. Lucky for them, not for me, that I had accidentally purchased a ticket for that showing before I bought the ticket for the theater I was in. So I get to the second theater, I wait in line again, get to my seat and I can't hear the movie. So I miss a lot and the movie seems boring to me, taking into account that I usually enjoy musicals. So I go back again, a few days later, and I take my little sister with me. I get bored during Anne Hathaway's big moment, so I order a hot dog and agree to wait while it cooks.

Paris: Damn! Seems like someone was more disappointed in a movie that was once in their top-ten than the movie they picked, Flight. (And the circle is almost complete.)

Greg: Hugh Jackman sounded like a goat at one point. I know because I lived on a goat farm and Russell Crowes character, my favorite character in the movie, dies off and so it was painful. That said, it was better than most other movies I've seen this year and I have the soundtrack on repeat as we speak, so it was really good, but I was disappointed that it wasn't my favorite movie of the year. (There we go, the final flip-flop.)

Paris: True. One last thing about my top-ten list. I added The Avengers because I do really think it was one of the ten best films of the year. I don't like that "summer popcorn flicks" or "superhero flicks" never get the love from critics on that "award winning" level. The Avengers is one the years best reviewed flicks so why wouldn't you put it in your top ten? And again, The Dark Knight Rises goes in my top-ten because Batman fans are crazy and they're still pissed about TDK not getting love in '08.

Greg: First off, The Avengers was a good movie, but wasn't a top-ten movie for me. Mostly because the writing wasn't the best. Yes it was entertaining, but just throwing special effects at you shouldn't be a reason for being top-ten. I know there have been movies that have won for that, but I don't agree with those either, unless they make more effort to tell a great story. As for TDKR, wasn't nearly as good as The Dark Knight. Mostly because Bane didn't feel like the real bad guy in the story. Batman seemed to be defeating himself more than anything else and it was boring.

Paris: Fair points but lets wrap this puppy up. I'll say that Life of Pi and Skyfall were the best looking films of the year. Both of those films “popped” off the screen to me. I'm not a big cinematography guy, but you can't help but notice the way those films LOOK on the screen. Moonrise Kingdom was the best love story I saw, although I'm not totally sure they shouldn't be checking to see if a person is a registered sex offender or not before they're allowed to watch it. As I already said, Zero Dark Thirty gets my nod. It's so visceral, so real that I, as an Iraq War vet, got physically uncomfortable watching it more than once. It was that real to me. It wasn't "pretty" but it was shot just the way it needed to be. The performances where all top notch and I'm sure Jessica Chastain will give Jennifer Lawrence a run for her money.

Greg: I wish I could comment on that.

Paris: If you've seen Homeland think Carrie, but more "believable crazy". If that makes sense.

Greg: I haven't seen Homeland.

Paris: Carrie is the show’s lead played by actress Claire Danes. She’s actually won a few awards for her performance but she’s a little "TV over-The-Top” and “no one THAT crazy would be in the CIA" crazy. Overall, I still choose Zero Dark Thirty because, like Django Unchained, it held my attention the whole time and because I'm Black, I have to give the nod to Zero Dark Thirty.

Greg: Now I feel racist if I say I give the nod to Django Unchained because I'm white Hispanic. But I give it to Django Unchained because while it was silly, it still had real moments. That's important to making a good film, how believable it is to an audience and it had that.

Paris: "Real" is a word that I would use "lightly" when talking about that movie. Let’s just say the shootouts at the end of ZDT and DU were very different.

Greg: I think the word I'm searching for is "believable". Within the constraints of the universe that Tarantino created anyway.

Paris: I've seen people get shot and trust me, they don't bleed like that.

Greg: You mean they don't bleed like that?! I don't understand this world anymore!

Thanks for reading and don't forget to subscribe and share the blog. Join in the discussion by leaving a comment below. Follow me on twitter @ParisLay. Until next time... Enjoy the View!